Buy me a cafe latte

SeinQuotes
S01E01 - The Seinfeld Chronicles
00:01:25 Senator, l'd like to know what you knew and when you knew it.
00:01:28 Mr. Seinfeld, Mr. Costanza.
00:01:31 Are you sure this is decaf?
S01E02 - The Stakeout
00:19:03 -Oh, sure. -I'm sorry.
00:19:11 How do you do? Jerry Seinfeld.
00:19:13 How do you do? Elaine Bennes.
S01E03 - The Robbery
00:07:30 I see.
00:07:33 Well, Mr. Seinfeld, we'll look into it. We'll let you know if we find anything.
00:07:37 - Do you ever find anything? - No.
S01E04 - Male Un-Bonding
00:18:46 Here, here.
00:18:49 God, Jerry Seinfeld,
00:18:50 I cannot believe you're doing this.
S02E04 - The Phone Message
00:18:10 Oh, that's so sweet.
00:18:14 Oh, this is my friend, Jerry Seinfeld.
00:18:15 I just bumped into him around the corner.
S02E06 - The Statue
00:10:10 From next door. Never mind where I am.
00:10:14 Yes, Jerry Seinfeld.
00:10:18 Ma, I told you
S02E10 - The Baby Shower
00:08:13 Yeah, Jerry's gonna be a cable boy A cable boy, a cable boy
00:08:23 - Mr. Steinfeld? - Seinfeld.
00:08:26 We're with the FBI. You wanna tell us about your cable hookup?
00:08:54 What about the Russian guy? The Russian guy's the guy you want.
00:08:57 Mr. Seinfeld? Agent Stone, FBI undercover.
00:09:05 No, Jerry!
S02E11 - The Chinese Restaurant
00:02:00 Well, what is it?
00:02:03 - How many? - All right, four. Seinfeld.
00:02:07 Four.
00:04:10 - I believe we were ahead of them. - Yeah.
00:04:13 - What's your name? - Seinfeld.
00:04:25 No, no. They were here before.
00:18:23 Your name?
00:18:26 - Seinfeld. - Yes, Seinfeld, four.
00:18:29 No, no. Do you see the girl over there with the long hair?
00:21:17 - Should we tell him we're leaving? - What for? Let's just get out of here.
00:21:27 Seinfeld, four!
00:21:30 Hunger will make people do amazing things.
S03E01 - The Note
00:18:29 but it's really important that I talk with Julianna.
00:18:32 I'm sorry, Mr. Seinfeld. She's not in.
00:18:34 I know she's mad at me, but I really have to speak with her.
S03E03 - The Pen
00:01:17 Welcome to Florida!
00:01:18 Hi, Mr. Seinfeld.
00:01:20 Hey, there's the old man. How you doing?
00:10:20 Oh, Jerry, don't talk crazy.
00:10:21 Mrs. Seinfeld, please,
00:10:23 I am begging you...
00:17:38 honors the previous year's president.
00:17:41 And this year, we are honoring Morty Seinfeld.
00:17:45 Morty!
S03E04 - The Dog
00:16:41 -Give me that jacket, mud face.
00:16:43 This is not Seinfeld you're dealing with.
00:16:45 When I get through with you,
S03E05 - The Library
00:11:55 without getting his mind warped,
00:11:58 or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld.
00:12:00 Maybe that's how you get your kicks,
00:12:10 Party time is over.
00:12:13 You got seven days, Seinfeld.
00:12:16 That is one week.
00:20:04 What's my problem? Punks like you. That's my problem,
00:20:08 and you'd better not screw up again, Seinfeld, because if you do,
00:20:10 I'll be all over you like a pit bull on a poodle.
S03E08 - The Tape
00:04:11 Well, what did she say?
00:04:13 Seinfeld?
00:04:16 Hey, is that Beder?
00:08:01 Do you speak English? English!
00:08:04 Oh, here's the director, Jerry Seinfeld.
00:08:07 Jerry, you discovered Elaine Benes.
00:16:21 Yes.
00:16:22 This is Jerry Seinfeld.
00:16:33 So?
S03E11 - The Alternate Side
00:05:16 Can I help you? Name, please.
00:05:18 Uh, Seinfeld. I made a reservation for a midsize,
00:05:21 and she's a small.
00:07:10 Fine.
00:07:12 Well, we have a blue Ford Escort for you, Mr. Seinfeld.
00:07:16 Would you like insurance?
00:17:57 Who's gonna read that?
00:17:58 Mr. Seinfeld, as it stands right now,
00:18:00 you are not covered for that damage
S03E17E18 - The Boyfriend
00:03:24 He's Keith Hernandez.
00:03:26 You're Jerry Seinfeld.
00:03:34 What, are you comparing yourself to Keith Hernandez?
00:18:08 Go ahead, shake his hand.
00:18:09 I'm Jerry Seinfeld.
00:18:11 I've been on the Tonight Show.
S03E19 - The Limo
00:07:23 It makes no sense, me being Murphy.
00:07:25 I'm Seinfeld.
00:07:25 You're Murphy.
00:20:46 Who are you?
00:20:49 I'm Jerry Seinfeld.
00:20:49 I'm George Costanza.
00:20:49 I'm George Costanza.
00:20:50 He's Jerry Seinfeld.
00:20:50 He's George Costanza.
S03E20 - The Good Samaritan
00:17:34 Come on up.
00:17:37 Well, well, well, Mr. Seinfeld,
00:17:40 that must have been so frightening
S03E23 - The Keys
00:10:19 I want to know where Kramer is, and I want to know now!
00:10:22 Go ahead and hit me, Seinfeld.
00:10:23 I've got witnesses.
S04E01 - The Trip (1)
00:19:40 George Wendt,
00:19:41 and comedian Jerry Seinfeld.
00:19:45 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
S04E02 - The Trip (2)
00:00:03 Last week on Seinfeld...
00:00:05 Oh, uh, yeah, I'm here for the audition.
S04E03E04 - The Pitch-The Ticket
00:30:58 I can't live like this. I'm being stalked.
00:31:00 Mr. Seinfeld, they're ready for you.
00:31:02 Oh.
00:31:02 Oh.
00:31:04 "Mr. Seinfeld."
00:31:04 What about "Mr. Costanza"?
00:36:47 Gee, you know, I thought you were mad at me. No.
00:36:49 Mr. Seinfeld, you have a telephone call.
00:36:51 Phone call?
S04E05 - The Wallet
00:03:47 Good to see you.
00:03:49 Ah, Mrs. Seinfeld.
00:03:50 Hi.
00:07:32 How could anyone not like him?
00:07:43 Hi. Morty Seinfeld.
00:07:45 I have a 2:00 appointment.
00:07:45 I have a 2:00 appointment.
00:07:47 Yes, Mr. Seinfeld. Would you please fill this out.
00:07:49 All this?
00:11:07 I wouldn't have made a nickel.
00:11:11 Hello, Mr. Seinfeld.
00:11:13 I thought you forgot about me.
00:11:24 I refused to put that in any of my lines.
00:11:26 Okay, Mr. Seinfeld,
00:11:27 please come this way.
00:16:33 Is that the operation here?
00:16:34 Mr. Seinfeld, I'm Dr. Dembrow.
00:16:36 I've been going over your X-rays.
00:16:53 What? Yeah, while I was in getting X-rayed.
00:16:54 All right, Mr. Seinfeld,
00:16:56 I am sorry about your wallet,
S04E06 - The Watch
00:09:16 The guy who pitched him the show with the stories about nothing.
00:09:18 Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld's friend.
00:09:20 Seinfeld friend.
00:09:18 Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld's friend.
00:09:20 Seinfeld friend.
00:09:22 He says call him Monday.
00:18:43 Hey, Georgie boy! How are you?
00:18:44 Hey, Mr. Seinfeld, Hey, Mrs. Seinfeld. How are you?
00:18:46 What's the matter with you?
00:20:50 Bye-bye, Jerry.
00:20:51 Bye, Mrs. Seinfeld. Take care.
00:20:54 Thanks again for the wallet.
S04E07 - The Bubble Boy
00:05:17 All right.
00:05:20 Excuse me. Jerry Seinfeld?
00:05:22 Yeah.
00:10:31 Well, it's not my fault.
00:10:32 Seinfeld can't drive.
00:10:34 How hard is it to follow somebody?
00:13:35 What's your name?
00:13:36 Jerry Seinfeld.
00:13:37 Elaine...
00:16:11 Who are you?
00:16:12 Where's Seinfeld?
00:16:13 He's on his way.
00:20:28 It's a long story.
00:20:31 Hey, Seinfeld.
00:20:32 Hey, happy birthday.
S04E08 - The Cheever Letters
00:01:49 All right, let's just get to work.
00:01:52 NBC Pilot. Seinfeld Project.
00:01:54 Act One, Scene "A."
00:07:40 Hello. Sandra?
00:07:42 Hi, uh, this is Jerry Seinfeld.
00:07:43 Listen, I just wanted to tell you
00:16:02 No, no, no, no.
00:16:04 Hey, nice going, Jerome Seinfeld.
00:16:07 What?
S04E09 - The Opera
00:00:55 You put it there.
00:00:56 I know what you said about me, Seinfeld.
00:00:58 I know you bad-mouthed me to the execs at NBC.
00:05:04 Nice. Yeah?
00:05:06 Hello, Joe, listen, this is Jerry Seinfeld.
00:05:08 I-I really think there's been
S04E10 - The Virgin
00:15:27 I'll be right back.
00:15:30 Mr. Seinfeld, they're ready for you now.
00:15:36 Yes, I was very wise to hitch my wagon to his star.
S04E17 - The Outing
00:01:17 She works for the N.Y.U. paper.
00:01:18 This is Jerry Seinfeld.
00:01:20 She was supposed to meet me to do an interview.
00:13:37 "of his fastidious bachelor pad,
00:13:40 "Seinfeld and Costanza bicker
00:13:42 "over the cleanliness of a piece of fruit
00:14:31 George?
00:14:32 Mrs. Seinfeld?
00:14:35 Oh, my God!
S04E18 - The Old Man
00:06:34 Jack.
00:06:42 Hi. I'm Jerry Seinfeld. The agency sent me.
00:06:45 Agency?
00:06:53 What?
00:06:55 Hi. I'm Jerry Seinfeld. The agency sent me.
00:06:56 The agency?
S04E20 - The Junior Mint
00:20:35 You know, I really think I'm falling for you,
00:20:37 Jerry Seinfeld.
00:20:38 Oh, well, I really think I'm falling for you...
S04E22 - The Handicap Spot
00:08:55 You're writing a pilot?
00:08:56 With his friend Jerry Seinfeld,
00:08:58 the comedian.
S04E23E24 - The Pilot
00:03:26 We've got very exciting pilots for next season.
00:03:29 We have one with a bright young comedian, Jerry Seinfeld.
00:03:32 Oh, yeah, you know, I've heard of him. He's that:
00:05:13 All right. Now you're doing something to help me.
00:05:17 Hello. Yes, it's Jerry Seinfeld returning the call.
00:05:21 Okay, great. Thanks a lot.
00:23:59 What is the real problem?
00:24:01 It's Seinfeld.
00:24:02 He can't act. It's pathetic.
00:37:27 This show looks interesting.
00:37:29 Isn't he that Seinfeld fella you went out with?
00:37:32 Oh, he's horrible. Horrible.
S05E02 - The Puffy Shirt
00:17:50 a used clothing organization, that provides services to the needy.
00:17:53 One of the performers will be comedian Jerry Seinfeld.
00:17:56 Jerry, good morning. Thank you, Brian.
S05E07 - The Non-Fat Yogurt
00:09:39 and it's finally here!
00:09:43 Hey, Seinfeld.
00:09:46 I'd appreciate it if you'd stop using obscenities around my son.
S05E09 - The Masseuse
00:02:25 If someone asked me nicely.
00:02:28 I'm Claude Seinfeld.
00:02:31 Hey, how many people did Rifkin strangle, 18?
S05E10 - The Cigar Store Indian
00:09:13 WINONA: Who is it?
00:09:15 Uh, Winona, it's Jerry Seinfeld.
00:09:18 Yeah?
S05E14 - The Marine Biologist
00:03:04 Listen to this:
00:03:06 "Jerry Seinfeld has appeared
00:03:08 "on David Letterman and The Tonight Show,
S05E17 - The Wife
00:02:51 Uh, you've never met my wife, uh, Meryl.
00:02:53 Meryl Seinfeld.
00:02:56 Yeah, sure. You get the discount too.
00:19:53 (SNORING)
00:20:00 MARTY: There you go, Mrs. Seinfeld.
00:20:02 With your twenty-five percent discount,
S05E18E19 - The Raincoats
00:06:12 Hello, Elaine!
00:06:14 Hi, Mrs. Seinfeld.
00:06:16 Oh...this is Aaron.
00:12:31 Uh...let me ask you a question.
00:12:35 How come you asked Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld,
00:12:37 to go to the museum with you?
00:12:56 It was fun.
00:12:59 You had fun with Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld?
00:13:02 Yeah.
00:16:25 That'll do.
00:16:26 Oh, hey, guess what. Morty Seinfeld and I
00:16:28 are going into business together selling raincoats.
00:16:33 What?
00:16:35 You...had dinner with the Seinfelds?
00:16:37 Yeah, last night.
00:17:37 What are you talking about?
00:17:38 Mom and Pop Seinfeld.
00:17:39 Look, I don't know.
00:20:01 What happened to that deli?
00:20:03 I really don't know, Mr. Seinfeld.
00:20:05 (WOMAN SINGING "I COULD HAVE DANCED ALL NIGHT" FROM MY FAIR LADY)
00:26:58 Paella? Yeah, I'll be there.
00:27:00 Apparently, the Seinfelds are too good for us.
00:27:04 I shouldn't say anything bad about your partner.
00:30:18 Oh.
00:30:27 Hello, Mrs. Seinfeld.
00:30:30 (IMITATING JERRY) Hello, Newman.
00:34:00 I was thinking today.
00:34:02 I never liked those Seinfelds anyway.
00:34:04 He's an idiot altogether.
00:35:09 Rudy's the guy buying Morty's raincoats.
00:35:11 Morty Seinfeld? He's a bum.
00:35:13 Well...the whole deal's going down tomorrow.
00:39:17 They'll get dehydrated on the plane!
00:39:19 Get the Seinfelds some water!
00:39:21 Please!
S05E20 - The Fire
00:13:44 He really does a number on you.
00:13:46 "Seinfeld froze like a deer in the headlights
00:13:49 in the face of incessant heckling."
00:19:28 Yeah, well, it won't be long.
00:19:29 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jerry Seinfeld!
00:19:36 Robin? Robin!
S06E01 - The Chaperone
00:06:08 Hello, Karen?
00:06:09 Hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld.
00:06:11 Oh, that's very sweet of you.
S06E03 - The Pledge Drive
00:02:20 Jerry?
00:02:21 Jerry seinfeld.
00:02:23 Oh, I like jerry a lot.
00:02:39 Oooh!
00:02:40 You say noreen was hitting on jerry seinfeld?
00:02:43 I'll-- I'll call you back later.
00:03:09 Elaine, what is going on?
00:03:11 Why did you tell dan I was hitting on jerry seinfeld?
00:03:15 Is this noreen?
00:04:17 You know...
00:04:21 "I'm jerry seinfeld. I tell jokes for a living,
00:04:24 "but there's no joking about the financial crisis at pbs.
00:16:16 The account had insufficient funds.
00:16:17 We had to return the checks made out to Mr. Jerry seinfeld.
00:16:22 Oh, dear. That's my grandson.
00:20:35 Wow, I'd like to shake his hand, but I can't.
00:20:43 -I'm jerry seinfeld.
00:20:44 I tell jokes for a living. But there's no joking