SeinQuotes

S01E01 - The Seinfeld Chronicles
00:20:15 You know, you really have no idea what it's like until you do it.
00:20:19 I'm on this emotional roller coaster.
00:20:21 You're engaged?
S01E04 - Male Un-Bonding
00:08:09 This, uh, this turkey sandwich, here,
00:08:11 is that real turkey or is it a turkey roll?
00:08:14 I don't want that processed turkey.
00:08:37 How can you talk to someone like that?
00:08:40 Look, what are you saying? What, you like turkey roll?
00:08:44 Listen, Joel, there's something I have to tell you.
00:13:49 Look, I can give you these,
00:13:50 and you can roll them yourself.
00:13:52 You want me to roll 6000 of these?
00:13:50 and you can roll them yourself.
00:13:52 You want me to roll 6000 of these?
00:13:54 What, should I quit my job?
S01E05 - The Stock Tip
00:05:42 I gave the guy the half turn...
00:05:45 Then I gave him the full turn with the eye roll...
00:05:50 I mean, beyond that, I'm risking a punch in the mouth.
00:08:17 You know, I can't believe you put your money in that Centrax.
00:08:20 You could have invested in my roll-out tie dispenser.
00:08:24 The roll-out tie dispenser...
00:08:20 You could have invested in my roll-out tie dispenser.
00:08:24 The roll-out tie dispenser...
00:08:27 What was that one?
S02E01 - The Ex-Girlfriend
00:00:26 The ultimate-- I think the ultimate psychological test of traffic...
00:00:29 ...is the total dead stop. Not even rolling...
00:00:32 ...and you look out the window, you see gum clearly.
00:05:51 Am I supposed to wear a kerchief...
00:05:53 ...put stockings on rolled below my knee?
00:05:55 The other thing is, if you don't like anything...
S02E10 - The Baby Shower
00:04:44 - With the nudity? - I guess.
00:04:47 She must've rolled over on a tick during the love-in.
00:04:53 Never said goodbye. Goodbye.
S02E11 - The Chinese Restaurant
00:06:00 You walk over to that table...
00:06:02 you pick up an egg roll, you don't say anything...
00:06:07 you eat it...
00:07:13 I know this sounds crazy, but the two men standing behind me...
00:07:16 will give me 50 bucks if I stand here and eat one of your egg rolls.
00:07:21 I'll give you 25 if you let me do it.
00:16:19 I'm not good at these things. I get flustered.
00:16:21 Once I tried to bribe an usher at the Roller Derby.
00:16:24 I almost got arrested.
S02E12 - The Busboy
00:00:11 I'll eat anywhere, whatever they're having.
00:00:14 I have eaten rolls off of room-service trays
00:00:17 in hotel hallways.
00:00:24 I don't know. Somebody left it.
00:00:26 Why would somebody poison a roll and leave it in the hallway
00:00:28 for some comic coming down at 2:00 in the morning?
S03E08 - The Tape
00:15:26 Because the other night, you know,
00:15:27 I was sleeping with Marion, and I rolled over
00:15:29 and I cut her ankle with my big toe.
S03E09 - The Nose Job
00:00:38 keep the paper and
00:00:40 the little piece of paper in the roller of the typewriter.
00:00:42 Oh, no. He's gotta be two and a half feet up.
S03E10 - The Stranded
00:01:07 How did you get fleas?
00:01:09 Because my cousin's imbecile dog was rolling around outside,
00:01:11 and they got in his carpet.
S03E11 - The Alternate Side
00:19:56 bicycling,
00:19:58 roller-skating, tennis and, uh, skiing.
00:20:03 And, um, well,
S03E12 - The Red Dot
00:07:54 and you'll be as loose as a goose
00:07:56 and ready to roll in no time.
00:07:57 And because it's odorless,
S03E13 - The Subway
00:13:25 Doesn't anyone use deodorant in the city?
00:13:27 What is so hard? You take the cap off, you roll it on.
00:13:30 What's that? I feel something rubbing against me.
S03E19 - The Limo
00:07:30 We're doing 60 miles an hour.
00:07:32 So we jump and roll. You won't get hurt.
00:07:34 Who are you, Mannix?
00:18:37 'Tis a beautiful country, though.
00:18:39 Lush rolling hills,
00:18:41 and the peat, ah, the peat.
S03E20 - The Good Samaritan
00:19:45 That's good. That's very good.
00:19:48 It kind of just rolls off the tongue.
00:19:49 I wonder where, on the Upper West Side,
S04E03E04 - The Pitch-The Ticket
00:01:10 Did they--? Did they carry it
00:01:12 in rolls in their duffel bags?
00:01:13 Everything with you comes down to toilet paper.
S04E08 - The Cheever Letters
00:01:45 What, you got a problem with the pen now?
00:01:47 I like a rolling writer. They're very smooth.
00:01:49 All right, let's just get to work.
00:20:28 "How's it going?" Beautiful.
00:20:33 Oh, come on, we were just on a roll now.
00:20:35 All right, did you get that line?
S04E12 - The Airport
00:06:09 and be walking out of the terminal
00:06:11 as we roll up.
00:06:13 I tell you, it's a thing of beauty.
S04E14 - The Movie
00:03:03 and saw that he hadn't changed,
00:03:04 and that tear started to roll down his cheek,
00:03:07 I lost it.
S04E18 - The Old Man
00:15:57 Uh-huh.
00:15:58 You see a long view of rolling pastures.
00:16:04 Well, get you going, right there.
S04E20 - The Junior Mint
00:01:10 I got a letter today
00:01:11 from the State Controller's Office.
00:01:13 When I was going to public school, back in Brooklyn,
00:01:23 I completely forgot about it.
00:01:24 The State Controller's Office tracks me down.
00:01:26 The interest has accumulated to $1900.
S04E22 - The Handicap Spot
00:05:19 and, halfway up, her batteries gave out,
00:05:21 and she rolled backwards into the wall.
00:05:24 Had to take her to St. Elizabeth's.
00:06:34 you'd think she'd be able
00:06:35 to roll it up the hill with her hands.
00:06:37 You'd think.
00:11:49 This is our best model, the Cougar 9000.
00:11:52 It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs.
00:11:54 This is like...
00:19:10 She dumped me.
00:19:11 She rolled right over me!
00:19:15 Said I was a hipster-doofus.
S05E05 - The Bris
00:00:53 and my brother, who's videotaping the whole thing,
00:00:55 turns green. His eyes roll up in his head and he blacks out.
00:00:57 He drops the camera. The camera breaks.
00:01:54 You can't beat that spot!
00:01:57 Hoo-hoo! I am on a roll!
00:01:59 Yeah!
S05E15 - The Pie
00:04:44 This mannequin looks exactly like me.
00:04:49 Did you just roll your eyes at him?
00:04:51 Because let me tell you something.
00:04:51 Because let me tell you something.
00:04:52 If anybody should be rolling their eyes,
00:04:54 it is me, at him, about you.
S06E04 - The Chinese Woman
00:21:15 You couldn't get away with that in any other restaurant.
00:21:16 Yeah, no one's reading any rolled up messages in a knish.
00:21:20 Well, it had to happen.
S06E08 - The Mom and Pop Store
00:19:29 It's possible.
00:19:30 Roll up your sleeve.
00:19:33 Somebody bit you?
S06E10 - The Race
00:00:16 Car slows down, the door opens,
00:00:18 and this tree just rolls out.
00:00:19 Bo-bum-poom-boom.
S06E20 - The Doodle
00:03:18 I'm grotesque.
00:03:21 I look like a troll.
00:03:23 It's just a drawing.
S06E23 - The Face Painter
00:00:08 have a kid. I mean, come on. I mean, you're so close.
00:00:12 If you need a pet that can roller-skate and smoke cigars...
00:00:16 it's time to think about a family.
00:00:44 Do you realize that toilet paper has not changed in my lifetime?
00:00:50 It's just paper on a cardboard roll. That's it.
00:00:53 And in 10,000 years, it will still be exactly the same...
00:01:15 What else can they do?
00:01:17 It's just paper on a roll. That's it, and that's all it will ever be.
00:01:24 You find this interesting, don't you?
00:03:58 - It's softer. - Softer.
00:03:59 - More sheets per roll. - Sheets.
00:04:01 - A wide variety of colors. - Colors.
S07E02 - The Postponement
00:20:48 for some reason, I just burst into tears.
00:20:51 -You cried? -I bawled uncontrollably.
00:20:54 I-I just poured my guts out. And I'll tell you,
S07E04 - The Wink
00:18:41 O'Neill's rounding second,
00:18:42 the ball rolling back to the wall,
00:18:44 O'Neill heading for third...
S07E05 - The Hot Tub
00:17:15 I feel much better here at my home base, Jean-Paul.
00:17:17 It's a controlled environment.
00:17:19 It's a marathon, you know, 26 miles.
S07E18 - The Friars Club
00:00:17 and she was on the guillotine, the blade came down,
00:00:20 her head fell in the basket, it rolled over,
00:00:22 and she started singing Neil Diamond's Solitary Man.
S07E21E22 - The Bottle Deposit
00:10:41 Well, I was wondering--
00:10:41 You mean you haven't been to payroll?
00:10:44 What's the problem?
00:10:44 What's the problem?
00:10:44 Payroll. No, haven't done that.
00:10:46 Now, come on, George.
00:10:50 Now, don't let him down!
00:10:54 Payroll!
00:11:03 Hello, there.
00:11:17 What project?
00:11:19 Payroll project.
00:11:22 Wilhelm?
00:11:22 Wilhelm?
00:11:24 Big, uh... Big payroll project.
00:11:27 You're gonna have to fill me in. I...
00:11:53 Then you can tell me.
00:11:55 Mr. Wilhelm, uh, this is Lafarge in payroll.
00:11:57 There's a Costanza here.
00:15:37 So.
00:15:39 Did you go down to payroll?
00:15:40 Yes, payroll. Yes, I did.
00:15:39 Did you go down to payroll?
00:15:40 Yes, payroll. Yes, I did.
00:15:43 Very productive. Payroll paid off.
00:15:40 Yes, payroll. Yes, I did.
00:15:43 Very productive. Payroll paid off.
00:15:45 Then I guess you'll be heading downtown, then, huh?
S07E23 - The Wait Out
00:04:07 Right.
00:04:08 It's like when a tenant dies in a rent-controlled building.
00:04:11 You gotta take immediate action.
S08E03 - The Bizarro Jerry
00:02:15 You know what happens with these?
00:02:17 The rollers, they get flat spots on 'em.
00:02:20 Huh?
S08E05 - The Package
00:15:56 I'm glad, George.
00:15:58 And, uh, here's a little roll
00:16:00 that I think you may enjoy.
00:16:07 Mm-hm.
00:16:12 Hey, Ron, I gotta go to lunch. Could you do a roll?
00:16:15 No problem.
S08E06 - The Fatigues
00:16:14 You know, just a hair, to something like...what?
00:16:18 Like "strolling through a dewy meadow."
00:16:23 Dewy meadow.
S08E07 - The Checks
00:12:02 Well, I'm sorry, Jerry.
00:12:03 We all don't have checks rolling in like you do.
00:12:07 Well, what about all that money from the kimonos I wear?
S08E11 - The Little Jerry
00:01:50 Nothing really. Just, uh, you know,
00:01:52 stroll around the cellblocks,
00:01:54 maybe, uh, take in a shower fight.
S08E13 - The Comeback
00:18:21 He's not even married like I am.
00:18:23 Hey, uh, Milos, I don't mind rollin' over here,
00:18:26 but could you lighten up on the "not a man" stuff?
S08E16 - The Pothole
00:09:48 shopping carts: vrrt!
00:09:49 I just rolled them into the woods.
00:09:51 Yeah, that stuff's all-natural anyway.
S08E17 - The English Patient
00:08:19 Who are they?
00:08:20 They're Cuban cigar rollers.
00:08:22 Don't tell your mother.
00:14:58 I thought he quit smoking cigars.
00:15:01 Well, yeah. Yeah. But they also rolled
00:15:02 for his brother...
00:16:43 Over there. The Dominicans.
00:16:46 Aren't they supposed to be rolling cigars?
00:16:49 Well, it didn't quite work out,
00:18:25 There's nobody there now at the Magic Pan
00:18:26 to roll the crepes.
00:18:28 We gotta close it up.
00:18:31 Each crepe has to be
00:18:33 hand-rolled by a Mandelbaum.
00:18:36 That's what puts the magic in Magic Pan.
00:18:36 That's what puts the magic in Magic Pan.
00:18:43 So you just need some guys that could roll them?
00:18:46 Yeah.
00:20:08 Look at that.
00:20:09 Looks like they're rolling a Double Corona.
00:20:11 Just a cigar made out of Bisquick, huh, Guillermo?
00:20:31 What are they-- Why are the crepes spraying?
00:20:34 Dominicans are rolling them too tight.
00:20:38 Well. That's why you gotta get real Cubans.
S08E18 - The Nap
00:01:03 So what are you doing now?
00:01:05 I'm gonna take a little stroll through the park.
00:01:07 With a gentleman caller?
00:06:38 So you think he was expecting
00:06:39 a roll in the supportive hay?
00:06:40 After one date.
00:19:58 At least come over and...
00:20:00 roll this thing off of me.
00:20:03 All right. I'll-- I'll be right there.
S08E19 - The Yada Yada
00:10:49 I have some discomfort in my molar.
00:10:51 You like Tootsie Rolls, don't you?
00:10:54 Father Curtis, why don't you come in?
S08E20 - The Millennium
00:18:43 I've changed my mind. I--
00:18:45 I think I'm going to build a roller coaster instead.
00:19:01 Mmm.
S09E01 - The Butter Shave
00:16:38 Hey, if you got any juice left,
00:16:39 you might wanna roll by the big showcase tonight.
00:16:41 Oh, you still goin' on in front of Bania, huh?
S09E04 - The Blood
00:17:07 You've combined food and sex into one disgusting,
00:17:09 uncontrollable urge.
00:17:11 Think you're right.
S09E07 - The Slicer
00:04:42 and I'll be right with you.
00:04:45 Oh, Jerry, we're gonna need a case of Kaiser Rolls.
00:04:47 I think we might have one left in the stockroom.
S09E10 - The Strike
00:21:08 Yeah.
00:21:10 And now as Festivus rolls on,
00:21:12 we come to the feats of strength.
S09E11 - The Dealership
00:18:12 Listen to me.
00:18:14 When that car rolls into that dealership
00:18:16 and that tank is bone-dry,
S09E12 - The Reverse Peephole
00:03:04 Here. See, here's what you need:
00:03:05 just a couple of cards and your bankroll.
00:03:07 See, keep the big bills on the outside.
00:20:29 Hey, Silvio.
00:20:30 Just out for a little stroll in my favorite fur coat.
00:20:33 That is your coat?
S09E17 - The Bookstore
00:09:50 All right now. Take it down the end of the block,
00:09:52 make a controlled turn, and bring 'er back.
00:09:54 Let's see what you've got.
S09E20 - The Puerto Rican Day
00:01:14 You want me to moon him? Ooh, let's moon him.
00:01:16 Roll up your window. Let's do a pressed ham under glass.
00:01:19 Oh, no, I couldn't do that.
S09E23E24 - The Finale
00:40:41 I wonder if they're having any trouble
00:40:43 controlling themselves during this trial.
00:40:45 Perhaps these two hooligans