SeinQuotes

S01E02 - The Stakeout
00:07:36 Apparently, Plato,
00:07:38 who came up with the concept of the platonic relationship,
00:07:41 was pretty excited about it.
00:08:12 I bet you there were other guys in history
00:08:13 that tried to get relationships named after them,
00:08:15 but it didn't work.
00:08:24 "Would you like to go to bed immediately?
00:08:27 Hey, it's a Riconic relationship."
00:08:34 Hey.
00:21:47 You know, I think that...
00:21:50 even if you've had a relationship with someone,
00:21:53 or let's say
00:21:53 or let's say
00:21:55 especially if you've had a relationship with someone,
00:21:57 and you try and become friends afterwards,
S01E04 - Male Un-Bonding
00:06:08 At least with a woman there's a precedent.
00:06:10 You know, the relationship goes sour, you end it.
00:06:12 No, no, no, no.
00:06:37 I have to wait for someone to die.
00:06:40 I think that's the only way out of this relationship.
00:06:43 It could be a long time.
00:11:49 So I'm thinking-- as she's saying this,
00:11:50 I'm thinking, "Great. The relationship's over
00:11:53 but the egg salad's on the way."
00:12:00 Sat there for 20 minutes chewing.
00:12:03 Staring at each other in a defunct relationship.
00:12:06 Someone says "Get out of my life,"
S01E05 - The Stock Tip
00:06:12 It's great. It speeds up the intimacy level.
00:06:14 It's like putting the relationship in a time compressor.
00:06:17 Where we would be six months from now,
00:06:20 we accomplish in three days.
00:06:22 Oh... so you want to move our relationship into phase two.
00:06:25 Exactly. I love phase two.
00:20:22 Almost as bad as losing out to a perfume.
00:20:29 Told you those trips are relationship-killers.
00:20:33 Too bad you can't get your buddy Superman
S02E01 - The Ex-Girlfriend
00:03:50 ...and we just went into these little sort of nods of recognition.
00:03:54 So fine, I figure, that's where this relationship is finally gonna settle.
00:03:58 Polite nodding.
00:04:13 I mean, it's like we really hate each other. It's based on nothing.
00:04:16 A relationship is an organism.
00:04:18 You created this thing...
S02E05 - The Apartment
00:18:21 I can, however,
00:18:23 carry on strictly physical relationships
00:18:25 which can last for years and years.
S02E09 - The Deal
00:10:43 that we can maintain the friendship
00:10:45 by avoiding all the relationship pitfalls.
00:10:48 Sure. All right, tell me the rules.
00:14:43 What about a music box?
00:14:44 Nah, too relationship-y.
00:14:48 She opens it up, she hears that "Lara's Theme," I'm dead.
00:15:33 and it's getting so tough
00:15:35 because the relationships are becoming so complicated,
00:15:36 greeting card companies now put out cards
00:18:38 We're talking.
00:18:40 Oh, the relationship.
00:18:52 You know, we never had one fight
00:19:54 Oh, those birthdays.
00:19:57 I told you, they're relationship killers.
00:20:00 If a relationship is having any problems whatsoever,
00:19:57 I told you, they're relationship killers.
00:20:00 If a relationship is having any problems whatsoever,
00:20:03 a birthday will always bring it out.
S02E11 - The Chinese Restaurant
00:18:42 That's really not relevant here.
00:18:45 Relationships are difficult.
00:18:47 It is very hard to stay together...
S03E04 - The Dog
00:01:18 Just my next-door neighbor.
00:01:19 Well, you are missing out on a relationship
00:01:23 that could enrich your life
S03E11 - The Alternate Side
00:22:04 Oh. Oh, for crying out loud.
00:22:18 The best part of a relationship is when you're sick.
00:22:21 And the best part of being sick
00:22:21 And the best part of being sick
00:22:22 is when you're in a relationship.
00:22:23 But if I was to get married, you know those vows,
S03E12 - The Red Dot
00:13:13 This cleaning woman's turning the screws on me.
00:13:16 She-- She's pushing for this whole relationship thing.
00:13:18 She keeps calling me.
S03E17E18 - The Boyfriend
00:32:20 I mean, I hardly know the guy.
00:32:23 That's a big step in a male relationship.
00:32:26 The biggest.
S03E20 - The Good Samaritan
00:03:11 always have a great story about how they met.
00:03:14 That's why I've never been in a long-term relationship.
00:03:16 I never had a good meeting story.
S03E21 - The Letter
00:02:38 Well, you know, I...
00:02:41 I have many relationships.
00:02:46 I'll tell you, I'm a little nervous.
00:13:19 "I'm sick and tired of running
00:13:21 "from places and people and relationships.
00:13:23 You want me, then fight for me--"
S04E02 - The Trip (2)
00:18:04 Yeah, well, you know,
00:18:06 I wasn't looking for a long-term relationship.
00:18:08 I was on TV.
S04E05 - The Wallet
00:09:15 You know about comedy,
00:09:16 a little bit about relationships,
00:09:18 some baseball,
00:13:52 What's a tell?
00:13:54 When you ask someone about their relationship,
00:13:55 and they touch their face,
00:14:07 And the higher up on the face you go,
00:14:09 the worse the relationship is getting.
00:14:11 You know, it's, like,
00:14:45 I mean, he knows all my patterns.
00:14:48 He knows that in relationships
00:14:49 that I always try to find some reason to leave,
S04E07 - The Bubble Boy
00:00:22 but the phone machine
00:00:24 is like this relationship respirator
00:00:26 keeping these marginal, brain-dead relationships alive,
00:00:24 is like this relationship respirator
00:00:26 keeping these marginal, brain-dead relationships alive,
00:00:29 and we all do it. Why? So that when we come home,
S04E10 - The Virgin
00:00:03 There's no easy way to break off any relationship.
00:00:04 I think when you first start dating,
00:00:06 they ought to give you
00:00:07 three "Get out of relationship free" cards.
00:00:09 You know what I mean?
00:00:18 Which is fine, unless, of course,
00:00:19 the person you're in the relationship with
00:00:21 happens to have
00:04:50 Here, you have a job that could help you get girls,
00:04:53 but you also have a relationship,
00:04:55 but if you try and get rid of the relationship
00:04:53 but you also have a relationship,
00:04:55 but if you try and get rid of the relationship
00:04:57 so you can get the girls,
00:20:32 Listen, I wouldn't put too much stock
00:20:34 in anything Elaine has to say about relationships.
00:20:36 She comes from a broken home, and I mean that literally.
S04E16 - The Shoes
00:00:02 The basic problem
00:00:04 with the beginning of the relationship, I think,
00:00:05 is that each person has their own sexual timetable
S04E19 - The Implant
00:07:34 It's a golden opportunity
00:07:35 to advance the relationship.
00:07:36 She's crying,
S05E02 - The Puffy Shirt
00:01:38 is like having sex.
00:01:39 It just completely changes the relationship.
00:01:46 All right. I'm ready.
S05E04 - The Sniffing Accountant
00:09:13 "Called for one." You know, I thought I'd heard of everything.
00:09:15 I never heard of a relationship being affected by punctuation.
00:09:19 I find it very troubling that he didn't use one.
00:18:30 "Dear Barry, consider this letter
00:18:32 "the official termination of our relationship
00:18:33 effective immediately."
00:21:16 What about the money?
00:21:18 Apparently, if I'd dissolved my relationship with him,
00:21:19 prior to his filing chapter 11, I could have got the money back.
S05E05 - The Bris
00:13:23 I'm the pitcher, he's the catcher.
00:13:25 He thinks we have a special relationship?
00:13:27 I thought pitchers and catchers did have a special rapport.
S05E06 - The Lip Reader
00:13:15 Whoever is responsible for stocking that concession stand
00:13:19 cost me a relationship.
00:13:21 They never have napkins there.
S05E08 - The Barber
00:04:20 You gotta start seeing somebody else.
00:04:21 Get out of this relationship.
00:04:24 I can't. He loves me.
S05E11 - The Conversion
00:21:42 "Well, I guess I'll be callin' the shots
00:21:44 in this relationship from now on."
00:21:55 You did that for me?
S05E16 - The Stand-In
00:01:48 "Deeply in love."
00:01:50 If you can't say something bad about a relationship,
00:01:52 -you shouldn't say anything at all. -Mm-hm.
S05E17 - The Wife
00:00:03 Of the places you go all the time,
00:00:04 the dry cleaning relationship is the most bizarre.
00:00:06 You give each other the same thing over and over again.
00:06:41 I think he's giving me a big signal.
00:06:43 Maybe he wants to change our relationship.
00:06:43 Wow.
S06E04 - The Chinese Woman
00:15:54 What are you doing to this woman?
00:15:56 This is the second relationship you've ruined for her
00:15:59 in a few weeks.
00:16:01 I know.
00:16:02 You ruin her relationship with the high talker.
00:16:04 I got confused.
S06E05 - The Couch
00:22:11 She didn't want the constraints
00:22:12 of any relationship.
00:22:13 That's why she got rid of the cat.
S06E07 - The Soup
00:00:02 If you have a close friend
00:00:03 and they get involved with someone in a relationship,
00:00:05 it affects your friendship, doesn't it?
00:00:23 "I look like the person you used to know,
00:00:25 "but I've been modified to survive in this relationship.
00:00:28 "In other words, if we're having an argument
00:02:03 I met an Englishman, and we really hit it off.
00:02:06 Yeah, well, that relationship's
00:02:08 obviously got a lot of potential.
S06E10 - The Race
00:00:03 The Christmas tree certainly seems to inspire
00:00:05 a love-hate relationship.
00:00:06 All that time is spent selecting it and decorating it,
S06E13 - The Scofflaw
00:07:12 He made the last contact between us.
00:07:14 I had the upper hand in the post break-up relationship.
00:07:18 If he thinks that I said hi, then I lose the upper hand.
S06E17 - The Kiss Hello
00:03:40 Well, you know, frankly,
00:03:41 outside of a sexual relationship,
00:03:43 I don't see the point to it.
S06E21 - The Fusilli Jerry
00:01:40 I think we really need to be in front of a television set.
00:01:43 You take TV out of this relationship, it is just torture.
00:01:49 So I'm getting an eye job.
S06E23 - The Face Painter
00:08:59 when there's an "l love you" out of the bag?
00:09:01 You can't have a relationship where one person says, "l love you"...
00:09:04 and the other one says, "I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat."
S07E02 - The Postponement
00:12:34 How could you not have make-up sex?
00:12:36 That's the best feature of the heavy relationship.
00:12:39 Heh. I missed out on the make-up sex.
S07E04 - The Wink
00:01:25 Yeah. I've never seen him, but I feel like
00:01:27 we have this weirdly intimate relationship.
00:01:30 I mean, I'm lying in bed, I'm wearing my nightie...
S07E06 - The Soup Nazi
00:17:33 Just knowing that you're not afraid of those things,
00:17:35 it's such a great step forward in our relationship.
00:17:40 Huh?
S07E07 - The Secret Code
00:01:06 do not give your secret code to anyone."
00:01:09 So you're taking relationship advice from Chemical Bank now?
00:01:13 Why does everything have to be "us"?
00:05:15 Why? Why is my code so important?
00:05:17 Because it's part of our relationship.
00:05:19 It's an indication of trust.
S07E08 - The Pool Guy
00:11:38 You see, right now,
00:11:39 I have relationship George,
00:11:42 but there is also independent George.
00:11:55 Me too, and he's dying, Jerry!
00:11:59 If relationship George walks through this door,
00:12:02 he will kill independent George.
S07E11 - The Rye
00:01:55 - Sure. Why not? You're there. - Exactly.
00:01:59 You said he was coming out of a serious relationship.
00:02:02 Maybe he's, you know, still kind of.... He's....
00:12:36 It's a bad thing.
00:12:37 Do you know what this is like, to have no control over a relationship?
00:12:42 And you feel sick to your stomach all the time?
S07E14E15 - The Cadillac
00:01:53 I never should have told you.
00:01:56 You know, Jerry, I think this changes the relationship.
00:01:59 I mean, I feel it. Do you feel it?
S07E19 - The Wig Master
00:04:08 It was very emasculating.
00:04:10 He doesn't know the nature of our relationship.
00:04:11 You're there approving new clothes.
00:14:21 will there be a free exchange of sex and discounts.
00:14:26 The cornerstones of a healthy relationship.
00:14:29 And now, if you would excuse us,
S07E23 - The Wait Out
00:14:55 You don't try. You do it.
00:14:57 I got the loser in this relationship,
00:14:59 and I'm breathing new life into him.
S07E24 - The Invitations
00:04:33 Should I think about the letter?
00:04:35 Hey, Elaine, if a guy wanted to end a relationship with you,
00:04:37 what could he do?
S08E01 - The Foundation
00:04:16 It was unprecedented. I mean, it was the first
00:04:19 truly mutual breakup in relationship history.
00:04:22 No rejection, no guilt, no remorse.
00:12:53 Who the hell knows.
00:12:55 But what's important is that your relationship with Susan
00:12:59 doesn't have to end.
S08E02 - The Soul Mate
00:14:20 I just came by to tell you
00:14:21 I'm really, really happy about this relationship.
00:14:25 Really happy.
S08E06 - The Fatigues
00:19:02 You know what your problem is?
00:19:03 You just have no respect for the protégé-mentor relationship.
00:19:07 As a matter of fact,
S08E10 - The Andrea Doria
00:07:59 I can't be with someone who doesn't break up nicely.
00:08:01 That's one of the most important parts of a relationship.
00:08:04 What's more important?
S08E11 - The Little Jerry
00:09:03 I did. I'm back.
00:09:04 I love this relationship. I feel so liberated.
00:09:07 Having her in jail?
00:13:31 talking.
00:13:35 In other words, a normal relationship.
00:13:37 Ha-ha. And that's no good.
S08E12 - The Money
00:05:20 You might be more than just a couple of tweaks away
00:05:24 from a healthy relationship.
00:05:26 Well, you're not exactly zeroing in yourself, lady.
S08E15 - The Susie
00:11:24 Uh-oh.
00:11:26 Now, we all know that this relationship isn't working.
00:11:29 So Allison and I think that the best thing to do
00:11:34 Can't we discuss this?
00:11:36 We just don't think you're ready for a serious relationship.
00:11:40 I didn't even know you wanted to get serious.
S08E16 - The Pothole
00:20:04 get in the way of what could be
00:20:06 a meaningful, long-lasting relationship.
00:20:16 Do you hear something?
S08E20 - The Millennium
00:05:54 What? She's ranking you?
00:05:55 Yeah, the speed dial's like a relationship barometer.
00:05:58 What is a barometer exactly?
S08E21 - The Muffin Tops
00:21:45 I told you this city would eat you alive.
00:21:51 And I think my relationship's in trouble.
00:21:56 So, what is this guy again?
S08E22 - The Summer of George
00:12:15 I need, like, an assistant or an intern or somethin'.
00:12:18 Relationship intern, huh?
00:12:23 Hey, what if the two of us teamed up?
S09E02 - The Voice
00:17:30 thanks for giving me a second chance.
00:17:32 Our relationship is certainly worth more
00:17:34 than some silly, stupid voice.
S09E11 - The Dealership
00:17:37 Now what do I have to do
00:17:38 to put you two in a relationship today?
00:17:43 Cars can go on empty,
S09E13 - The Cartoon
00:19:02 Do you--? You know what--?
00:19:03 You know what's great about our relationship?
00:19:05 It's not about looks.
00:19:30 No, no. Look...
00:19:32 This relationship has-- Has-- Has got to be about something.
00:19:36 And fast or I am in very serious and weird trouble.