SeinQuotes

S01E01 - The Seinfeld Chronicles
00:02:10 Yeah. She teaches political science...
00:02:12 l met her the night l did the show in Lansing.
00:02:15 - There's no milk in here. - Wait.
00:05:10 Because it's signals, Jerry. It's signals. Don't you...?
00:05:16 All right. Did she even ask you what you were doing tomorrow night...
00:05:20 - if you were busy? - No.
00:05:21 She calls you today, she doesn't make a plan for tomorrow?
00:05:25 - What is that? lt's Saturday night. - Yeah.
00:05:27 What is that? lt's ridiculous.
00:06:52 It is. No, think about it. The washing machine...
00:06:55 is the nightclub of clothes.
00:06:58 You know, it's dark, there's bubbles happening...
00:07:23 They do escape from the dryer. They plan it in the hamper...
00:07:26 the night before. "Tomorrow, the dryer, l'm going.
00:07:31 You wait here."
00:08:52 Yeah, no problem.
00:08:53 - Boy, the Mets blew it tonight, huh? - Oh, what are you doing?
00:08:58 Kessler, it's a tape. I taped the game.
00:09:01 It's 1:00 in the morning.
00:09:04 I avoided human contact all night to watch this.
00:09:07 Hey, l'm sorry. You know, l thought you knew.
00:16:00 The dating world is a world of pressure.
00:16:02 Let's face it, a date is a job interview that lasts all night.
00:16:07 The difference between a date and job interview is...
00:18:48 would it be possible, and if it's not, fine...
00:18:51 for me to stay here tomorrow night too?
00:18:55 Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah, why don't you stay.
S01E02 - The Stakeout
00:02:45 Well, what is it?
00:02:47 Well, a bunch of people are getting together tomorrow night at some bar
00:02:50 for her birthday, but...
00:05:10 Oh, no. Not now.
00:05:14 I had this dream last night, and you were in it.
00:05:17 -Really? -Yeah.
00:11:05 I never talk about other women with her,
00:11:08 especially this one tonight.
00:11:09 How could you still see her if you're not interested?
00:15:19 They can.
00:15:22 I'm sorry you had to leave so early the other night.
00:15:24 Oh, me too. My cousin had to go back to Boston.
00:22:18 Look, why don't we just saw each other in half
00:22:20 and call it a night, okay?
00:22:29 (♪♪)
S01E03 - The Robbery
00:20:31 - It is not. - It is too.
00:20:34 My roommate starts rehearsal tonight on Carousel.
00:20:40 - Hi. - Oh, hi, Carol.
00:21:00 I'm running in the park, I've lost weight...
00:21:02 we're barbecuing every night. And the rent is unbelievable.
00:21:09 We're really glad for you.
S01E04 - Male Un-Bonding
00:10:39 Come on.
00:10:41 Tonight?
00:10:43 No, next Wednesday.
00:10:43 No, next Wednesday.
00:10:44 If it was tonight, I would've said tonight.
00:10:48 You really want me to go?
00:16:37 Oh, hi, Joel. Oh, you just came in.
00:16:40 Listen, uh, I can't make it to the game tonight.
00:16:44 I, uh, have to tutor my nephew.
00:18:05 It's for that guy Horneck
00:18:07 who's at the game tonight with my tickets.
00:18:09 I have that list now, so in case he calls, I just consult it,
00:19:33 Oh, hi, Elaine.
00:19:35 Hey, you missed a great game tonight, buddy.
00:19:37 -Game? -Knicks game.
00:20:43 but next week, I'm gonna take you.
00:20:45 How about next Tuesday night,
00:20:47 and why don't you come along?
00:21:04 You know, the wall being down and everything.
00:21:07 Well, what about Thursday night?
00:21:09 I mean, they're playing the Sonics.
00:21:29 41 home games.
00:21:31 Let's see, Saturday night we got the Mavericks.
00:21:33 If you don't like the Mavericks,
S01E05 - The Stock Tip
00:00:02 Went out to dinner the other night.
00:00:04 Check came at the end of the meal, as it always does.
S02E01 - The Ex-Girlfriend
00:08:14 So you want me to get the books, is that it?
00:08:21 So it must have been 95 degrees that night...
00:08:23 ...and everyone's standing around the pool with little drinks in their hands.
00:13:48 Well....
00:13:52 Night.
00:14:03 Good night.
00:13:52 Night.
00:14:03 Good night.
00:14:14 -Hey. -Hey.
00:15:22 -Marlene. -Yeah.
00:15:23 I took her home one night. We started up a little in the car.
00:15:26 -I thought you were getting rid of her. -I was.
00:19:02 -That voice. She's driving me crazy. -I know. I know.
00:19:06 I can see her tonight and you don't care?
00:19:08 See her tonight. See her tomorrow. Go, knock yourself out.
00:19:06 I can see her tonight and you don't care?
00:19:08 See her tonight. See her tomorrow. Go, knock yourself out.
00:19:11 -She's too crazy for me. -All right. As long as you're okay.
00:20:23 Well, okay.
00:20:25 I guess things changed for me on Tuesday night.
00:20:28 Tuesday night? What happened Tuesday night?
00:20:25 I guess things changed for me on Tuesday night.
00:20:28 Tuesday night? What happened Tuesday night?
00:20:32 I saw your act.
S02E02 - The Pony Remark
00:18:14 Once again, I just wanted to say how sorry I am...
00:18:17 -...about the other night. -Oh, me too.
00:18:19 Oh, no, no, no. She forgot all about that.
S02E03 - The Jacket
00:06:25 I can't believe we're having dinner with Alton Benes.
00:06:28 I know exactly what's gonna happen tonight.
00:06:30 I'm gonna try and act like I'm not impressed.
00:07:06 it's with a whole different confidence.
00:07:08 Like, tonight I might have been a little nervous,
00:07:10 but inside this jacket,
00:19:49 Oh, what did you do to it?
00:19:51 I was out in the snow last night.
00:19:54 Don't you know what that does to suede?
00:20:05 [COLDLY] Hello.
00:20:07 Listen, thanks again for coming last night.
00:20:09 Dad said he had a great time.
00:20:10 Is he's still in town?
00:20:11 No, he's driving back to Maryland tonight.
00:20:13 So, uh, what are you going to do with that one now?
00:21:03 Oh! Oh!
00:21:06 Is this from the snow last night?
00:21:09 You know what you should have done?
S02E04 - The Phone Message
00:02:09 so I just blurt out,
00:02:10 "What are you doing Saturday night?"
00:02:12 And?
00:02:27 It's amazing.
00:02:28 We both have dates the same night.
00:02:29 I can't remember the last time that happened.
00:03:13 Oh, no, thanks.
00:03:15 I can't drink coffee late at night.
00:03:16 I keeps me up.
00:03:26 Okay.
00:03:28 Good night.
00:03:30 Yeah, take it easy.
00:04:19 Oh, so important.
00:04:22 So, what are you doing Thursday night?
00:04:24 You want to have dinner?
00:07:15 You're still thinking about this?
00:07:18 She invites me up at 12:00 at night
00:07:22 for coffee.
00:07:51 Coffee's coffee in the morning.
00:07:53 It's not coffee at 12:00 at night.
00:07:54 Well, some people drink coffee that late.
00:08:25 not a guy who goes,
00:08:27 "Uh, no, I don't drink coffee late at night. Ha, ha, ha."
00:08:30 If I call her now, she's gonna thing I'm too needy.
00:15:35 She said she can't wait to see me.
00:15:37 We're having dinner tonight.
00:15:39 She's supposed to call me as soon as she gets home.
S02E05 - The Apartment
00:00:52 because Kirk was the only one that had the big screen.
00:00:54 They'd come over Friday nights-- Klingon boxing.
00:00:56 Got to be there.
00:19:27 But, suddenly, a new contender has emerged.
00:19:35 George, I didn't sleep at all last night.
00:19:39 I decided I have to tell her.
S02E06 - The Statue
00:16:44 The book is great.
00:16:46 Did you go out last night?
00:16:48 No, we made love on the floor like two animals.
S02E07 - The Revenge
00:01:39 Boy, I have really had it with Newman.
00:01:42 He wakes me up again last night
00:01:44 at 3:00 in the morning
00:11:44 Yeah, Newman jumped.
00:11:47 Did he call last night?
00:11:48 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:00 KRAMER: You want to shoot some pool
00:22:02 tonight?
00:22:03 I can't. I'm going to a movie!
S02E08 - The Heart Attack
00:02:06 "Fullman... Hurtel...vom"?
00:02:11 I got up last night, I wrote this down
00:02:12 I thought I had this great bit.
00:02:30 Johnny Carson?
00:02:32 Did I insult Johnny on The Tonight Show?
00:02:34 Did you mess with Johnny, Jerry?
00:03:05 I know what this is.
00:03:07 You saw that show on PBS last night,
00:03:09 Coronary Country.
00:08:05 Can we go home now?
00:08:06 No, actually, we'd like to keep him here overnight
00:08:08 for observation just to be safe.
00:12:24 in a hospital?
00:12:26 Well, an overnight stay in a hospital,
00:12:27 minor surgery...
00:19:07 What are you doing?
00:19:08 Well, I was going to kiss you good night.
00:19:10 A kiss? With the tongue?
S02E09 - The Deal
00:06:04 Okay, okay, rule number two--
00:06:08 spending the night is optional.
00:06:11 Well, now we're getting somewhere.
00:06:17 Good.
00:06:19 What about the kiss goodnight?
00:06:20 Tough one.
00:07:43 What about you?
00:07:44 Nothing much. I slept with Elaine last night.
00:07:51 Oxygen. I need some oxygen.
00:11:09 I'm very impressed with the first one.
00:11:11 Spending the night...
00:11:15 optional.
00:11:28 but the one thing I do know
00:11:29 is that they are not happy if you don't spend the night.
00:11:32 It could be a hot, sweaty room with no air conditioning,
00:12:38 Hi.
00:12:40 Such a great improv class tonight.
00:12:41 Oh, really?
00:13:23 Definitely.
00:13:28 Well... good night.
00:13:31 Good ni-- What are you doing?
00:13:50 I don't want to send the wrong message,
00:13:52 especially after the other night.
00:13:54 Maybe I'll get her some jewelry.
S02E10 - The Baby Shower
00:11:34 We can't go back to my place. Elaine's having the shower.
00:11:36 - What, tonight? Now? - Yeah. Yeah, I forgot all about it.
00:11:40 No big deal. We'll go back to your place.
00:19:25 I'm going. Obviously.
00:19:28 Oh, Leslie, I am so sorry about everything that went on here tonight.
00:19:32 - I had no idea... - Elaine...
00:19:32 - I had no idea... - Elaine...
00:19:33 I was watching you tonight, and I realized something.
00:19:36 You're just like you were in college.
S02E11 - The Chinese Restaurant
00:02:40 Plan 9 from Outer Space.
00:02:42 One night only. The big screen.
00:02:44 My hands are tied.
00:14:41 Now she's gonna see him tomorrow...
00:14:43 and tell him she saw me here tonight.
00:14:45 He's gonna tell his wife. His wife's gonna call my mother.
00:15:12 My uncle to my cousin, my cousin to my sister, my sister to me.
00:15:15 You should've just had dinner with him tonight and gotten it over with.
00:15:18 - It's just a movie. - Just a movie?
00:17:03 Boy, we are really anxious to sit down.
00:17:09 Very good specials tonight.
00:17:16 If there's anything you can do to get us a table...
00:17:25 No, no, I wanna eat now.
00:17:27 Yes, whole sea bass dinner tonight, very fresh.
00:17:30 Here. Take this. I'm starving.
S02E12 - The Busboy
00:01:59 Elaine is having a, uh... house guest?
00:02:02 She's picking him up at the airport tonight.
00:02:05 A guy?
00:19:01 Hey, Antonio, how's it going?
00:19:04 Three nights ago...
00:19:06 A gas main beneath the restaurant exploded,
00:19:16 I-- I-- I-- I--
00:19:18 If I'm not fired that night because of you
00:19:22 and your thoughtless, stupid, insensitive remarks,
00:19:44 He's coming up.
00:19:45 And the very same night of the accident,
00:19:47 while looking for Paquita,
S03E03 - The Pen
00:04:57 Listen, Morty, do you want
00:04:58 to settle up from last night?
00:05:00 All right, I owe you $19.45.
00:10:09 Maybe you should see a doctor.
00:10:11 We'll stay in a hotel tonight.
00:10:12 No, we'll stay in there.
00:12:22 How the hell do you work this thing?
00:12:28 Maybe you shouldn't go tonight.
00:12:30 Oh, no, no, I want to go.
00:15:11 I have no use for either one of them.
00:15:13 I don't want even want them there tonight.
00:15:15 Isn't he supposed to be the emcee?
00:16:28 Her back hurts.
00:16:31 Um, we saw you on The Tonight Show last week.
00:16:35 I thought Johnny was very rude to you.
00:19:11 Oh, God.
00:19:13 How you folks doing tonight?
00:19:15 Who are you?
S03E04 - The Dog
00:03:05 He's going everywhere.
00:03:07 I can't go out of the house at night.
00:03:08 I haven't performed in three days.
00:03:08 I haven't performed in three days.
00:03:10 This will be my first night out since I got back.
00:03:13 Hey, when you walk him, do you...?
00:04:12 One more day, and you are pound-bound!
00:04:15 Hey, I'm sorry. I can't watch the dog tonight.
00:04:17 Why?
00:05:05 You. I'm talking about people.
00:05:09 Are we still going to the movies tonight?
00:05:11 No, I can't. I gotta watch Farfel.
00:06:58 and if you're still not satisfied
00:07:00 we can switch apartments for the night.
00:07:01 No.
00:14:01 How about if you and George go to the movies
00:14:04 and I stay here and watch the dog tonight?
00:14:06 I can't let you do that. What about Prognosis Negative?
00:14:08 We'll see it Sunday.
00:14:11 Tonight's the night, right? Prognosis Negative.
00:14:15 I'm not going. I'm gonna watch the dog.
00:14:18 What does this mean?
00:14:19 Well, we'll go see something else tonight.
00:14:21 We'll see Ponce de Leon.
00:17:07 Well, where have you been?
00:17:09 Yeah? Well, you better pick up your dog tonight,
00:17:12 or he has humped his last leg.
00:17:37 Right.
00:17:38 You know, we're supposed to ruin the night
00:17:39 because she wants to see it?
S03E05 - The Library
00:00:10 He's always talking about dates and women that he knows
00:00:14 and bringing them back to the suitcase at night.
00:00:16 There's always a sawdust joke in there somewhere, you know.
00:05:07 Some other time.
00:05:08 What, tonight?
00:05:11 You know, I never figured you for a squealer.